Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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