I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
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She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
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I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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