either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
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the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.