Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
This baby is an asshole
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
