My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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