so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
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All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
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You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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