the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
