no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
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