i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The air was thick with penises
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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