She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
