I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
