i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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