; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
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I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
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My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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