He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
