New invention idea: vibrating tampons
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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