I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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