He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize