Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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