You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
