bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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