he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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