Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
