moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
