I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
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