Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
