and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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