OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
