I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
