Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
