craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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