not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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