Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize