Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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