the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
dude. I can hear the air.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
