she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
