no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
