That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
