We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
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He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
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Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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