And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
