Pregnant stripper...not hot.
im holly from the hills drunk
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
