apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
