P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
