His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
