Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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