Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
All I want is dick and wine.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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