I think I won the penis lottery.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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