nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
