You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
