i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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