I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Randomize