at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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