You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
