i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I know her cup size but not her name....
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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