Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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