It's like a parade of train wrecks.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You dont lie about slip and slides
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
