sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
