So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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