Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just cropdusted the office
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The police scanner is talking about you again....
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
