I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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