So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
