No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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