wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
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I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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