i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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