I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
