Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
